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> ...Pour les anglophones, une merveilleuse et claire
> explication de la politique etrangere americaine de
> ces dernieres annees...
>
> Questions and Answers about Foreign Policy
> (and the U.S. Invasion of Iraq)(c) 2003 anarchie
> bunker
> Permission is freely granted to copy, print, and
> distribute this material by any means, so long as the
> author is given proper credit and so long as this>
> statement is included in any and all copies made for
> distribution.
>
> Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
> A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.
> Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass
> destruction.
> A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.
> Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
> A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.
> Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any
> weapons of mass destruction, did we?
> A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden.
> Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right
> before the 2004 election.
> Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass
> destruction?
> A: To use them in a war, silly.
> Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that
> they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they
> use any of those weapons when we went to war with
> them?
> A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know
> they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the
> thousands rather than defend themselves.
> Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to
> die if they had all those big weapons with which
> they could have fought back?
> A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make
> sense.
> Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had
> any of those weapons our government said they did.
> A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not
> they had those weapons. We had another good reason to
> invade them anyway.
> Q: And what was that?
> A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass
> destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator,
> which is another good reason to invade another
> country.
> Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK
> to invade his country?
> A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.
> Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
> A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good
> economic competitor, where millions of people work for
> slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations
> richer.
> Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for
> American corporate gain, it's a good country, even
> if that country tortures people?
> A: Right.
> Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
> A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the
> government. People who criticized the government in
> Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.
> Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
> A: I told you, China is different.
> Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
> A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath
> party, while China is Communist.
> Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
> A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.
> Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
> A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the
> government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.
> Q: Like in Iraq?
> A: Exactly.
> Q: And like in China, too?
> A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor.
> Cuba, on the other hand, is not.
> Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
> A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our
> government passed some laws that made it illegal for
> Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until
> they stopped being Communists and started being
> capitalists like us.
> Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade
> with Cuba, and started doing business with them,
> wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
> A: Don't be a smart-ass.
> Q: I didn't think I was being one.
> A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of
> religion in Cuba.
> Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
> A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China.
> Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a
> military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader
> anyway.
> Q: What's a military coup?
> A: That's when a military general takes over the
> government of a country by force, instead of holding
> free elections like we do in the United States.
> Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a
> military coup?
> A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he
> did, but Pakistan is our friend.
> Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is
> illegitimate?
> A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.
> Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes
> to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate
> government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
> A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our
> friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.
> Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
> A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.
> Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
> A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen
> of them Saudi Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and
> flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000
> Americans.
> Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
> A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained,
> under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.
> Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who
> chopped off people's heads and hands?
> A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did
> they chop off people's heads and hands, but they
> oppressed women, too.
> Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban
> 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
> A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did
> such a good job fighting drugs.
> Q: Fighting drugs?
> A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping
> people from growing opium poppies.
> Q: How did they do such a good job?
> A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium
> poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and
> heads cut off.
> Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and
> hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if
> they cut people's heads and hands off for other
> reasons?
> A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic
> fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing
> flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's
> hands for stealing bread.
> Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads
> in Saudi Arabia?
> A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a
> tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and
> forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in
> public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women
> who did not comply.
> Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public,
> too?
> A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic
> body covering.
> Q: What's the difference?
> A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi
> women is a modest yet fashionable garment that
> covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and
> fingers.
> The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of
> patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's
> body except for her eyes and fingers.
> Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different
> name.
> A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi
> Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.
> Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on
> September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
> A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.
> Q: Who trained them?
> A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.
> Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
> A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was
> a bad man, a very bad man.
> Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
> A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel
> the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the
> 1980s.
> Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist
> Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
> A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke
> up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections
> and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.
> Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our
> friends?
> A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends
> for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but
> then they decided not to support our invasion of
> Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the
> French and the Germans because they didn't help us
> invade Iraq either.
> Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
> A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had
> to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom
> Fries and Freedom Toast.
> Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country
> doesn't do what we want them to do?
> A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies,
> we invade.
> Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the
> 1980s?
> A: Well, yeah. For a while.
> Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
> A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against
> Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.
> Q: Why did that make him our friend?
> A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
> Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
> A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at
> the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were
> his friend.
> Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies
> automatically becomes our friend?
> A: Most of the time, yes.
> Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends
> is automatically an enemy?
> A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American
> corporations can profit by selling weapons to both
> sides at the same time, all the better.
> Q: Why?
> A: Because war is good for the economy, which means
> war is good for America. Also, since God is on
> America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless
> unAmerican Communist. Do you understand now why we
> attacked Iraq?
> Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted
> us to, right?
> A: Yes.
> Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
> A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W.
> Bush and tells him what to do.
> Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we
> attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in
> his head?
> A. Yes! You finally understand how the world works.
> Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and
> go to sleep. Good night.
> Q: Good night, Daddy.
>
> Alexgrunt
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